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I sometimes think, "When will be the last time?"
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When will be the last time one of them gets to sleep in the middle ?
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When will be the last time I have to change a diaper ?
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When will be the last time one of them wants to cuddle ?
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When will be the last time daddy gets a "big hug" ?
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When will be the last time I toss him in the air ?
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When will be the last time he falls asleep on my chest ?
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When will be the last time he says "da-da" ?
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When will be the last time we get to give them a bath ?
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When will be the last time he cries just because I want to put him back down ?
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When will be the last time I can brush the hair from his face without him pushing my hand away ?
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When will be the last time I get to see that expression as he winks ?
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When will be the last time I get to buckle him in the car seat?
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When will be the last time I get to carry him ?
Many of these things I take for granted right now, and I shouldn't. I've gotten plenty of those "no tomorrow" emails about "living life for today" but I've never stopped to think about when things will just stop happening.
At some point as children, we made an conscious or unconscious decision to stop giving our parents a kiss good night. At some point we decided to not say "I love you." as much. At some point we began feeding ourselves. At some point we decided our bed was much more roomy and comfortable by ourselves. Did we think about it then? No. Did our parents think about it? Probably not. It just happens. No one knows when or why, it just does. We just stop.
Despite my adultness, my moodiness, my inattention to life sometimes passing me by I'm going to try and do my best to enjoy these moments while I have them. While some of these things seem like chores now, someday I will miss getting to do them.
So, I'm about to leave work and go home where I will get to kick the ball around the front yard with them, or have them play with my tools and help me measure something. I will get to pick them up, hold them in my arms and they will both let me kiss them on the cheek and tell them how much daddy loves them. I will get a big hug and a wink, that funny laughing noise and smiles. We will go to the rope swing.
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